The Things They Say (and what they mean)
Explanations of Politician’s favourite sayings
It’s for the good of the country – I’m on a promise of shares/money/a golf trip to St Andrews/ a night with that hot brunette intern/etc.
You can’t solve problems by throwing money at them – we’ll have to hire some of our accountant/auditor pals to look into this and tell us what we have done wrong – they’ll probably have to take us to lunch once or twice to hammer out the details.
Trust me – I am about to tell you a barrelful of lies. Has anybody seen the Jungle Book?
There’s no such thing as free lunch – except when we’re having a meeting with arms manufacturers, oil company representatives, bankers etc etc etc.
There’s not enough money in the kitty for that – unless it’s in my constituency
In times like these we all have to make sacrifices – but you first!
We live in a democracy – but I’ll make up my mind what you think you mean once I’ve talked to my pals.
We are a listening government – we always listen to our pals, and those who are considerate enough to buy us lunch.
Your vote counts – but not as much as the arms manufacturers’ wallets.
We all have to tighten our belts – unless we have a war to fight, arms to buy or a monument to build*.(their belts around our throats Jimi the Fish).
*Example the London Dome and some other white elephants.
Your government always takes the best advice- the consultants told us so us when buying us lunch – with your money.
The press hate us – which is why they always go to cocktail parties with media-moguls.
We will not be swayed by public opinion – unless there’s an election coming up.
This is a matter of principle – unless a) the (gutter-press) media-moguls make a noise about it b) it costs too much c) it might lose us votes.
The cost over-runs on the latest armaments development * are unfortunate and will be looked into – just like the last 327 instances. * take your pick.
The police and the army can do no wrong – we might need them if you guys ever waken up to hat we are actually doing.
We/I represent the people –sure, the rich people.
Demonstrations for them double the number Demos against quarter the numbers
Spooks have never lied and are always working for the common good. – so of course we can’t let you now what they are up to.
Secrecy is a bad thing – except for what we’re up to.
Immigration has to be controlled – even if my daddy/granddaddy arrived here with nothing, a generation or two ago – the current would-be emigrants are of much lower calibre.
You can’t solve problems by throwing money at them – so we’ll throw the money at our pals instead.


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